I Got Up!

Here’s my Easter story.

The spring of 2006 found The Bride and I on a “couples date” with some of our best friends in Metropolitan Topeka. We had gone out for dinner someplace…I forget where…and then headed to a local dance club to listen to “Disco Dick and the Mirror Balls.”

At some point it occurred to my friend Jeremy and I that as our wives seemed very intent in talking about, well, whatever they were talking about, the only rational thing for us to do was drink. So we did. A lot.

The next day was Easter, and The Bride roused my aching body out of bed to accompany her to 10:00 AM services at a local church. This was one of the “New Wave” churches, with video screens where the choir loft should be and the traditional pipe organ replaced by electric guitars and drums with AMPLIFIERS, and a service featuring LOUD AND BOISTEROUS SINGING, fellowship, LOUD AND BOISTEROUS SINGING, prayer and reflection, and LOUD AND BOISTEROUS SINGING.

One of the songs was called “He Got Up!” It featured LOUD AND BOISTEROUS SINGING with electric guitars, drums, and AMPLIFIERS. And at that moment, with the little microscopic municipal workers engaged in sandblasting every cell of my body with formaldehyde, I finally understood what Jesus must have felt like when he got up, if he was feeling anything like I did. No wonder he didn’t stick around to hang with the apostles too long, but headed home as soon as he could.

I was discussing my spiritual epiphany several days alter with Jeremy, who told me that he had an even more intense religious experience. His wife had made him get up for sunrise mass at 5:30.

The Bride got a billion points for that one.