Satellite Love: Update

My sister has provided me with an update on my blog about the Top Songs of First Love. She has informed me that Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” fulfills the criteria from a female standpoint:

“Let's go all the way tonight.
No regrets, just love.
We can dance until we die.
You and I, we'll be young forever.

We drove to Cali and got drunk
On the beach.
Got a motel and built a fort
Out of sheets.
I finally found you,
My missing puzzle piece.
I'm complete.”

I would argue with her that:

1) Katy Perry is a teenage DREAM, not a real girl actually doing it, so the song doesn’t count; and that

2) Building a fort out of motel sheets is a chaste activity (see Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert, “It Happened One Night, 1934); and that

3) These two kids have a RELATIONSHIP and are in LOVE; and that

4) Katy Perry is from an era of music I don’t listen to, so it doesn’t count, no matter how hot Katy Perry is nor how much I am convinced that while she married Russell Brand and I wish her happiness, I know it’s only because she didn’t meet me first; and that

5) Anybody who sings with Elmo is automatically too pure of heart for this list.

So there.